i got 99 problems and probably about 94 of them come from my lack of motivation to do anything
- me: whats your opinion on tampons
- little brother: they're little fuzzy sticks on strings
- me: then you are ultimately more mature than most boys
- little brother: why
- me: for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina
- little brother: well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those
- little brother:
- me: that is a fantastic point
so today my ap art history teacher was teaching us about Hapshetsut the only female pharaoh and he was like “have you seen women they can pop out a baby and be like alright let’s go” and then he walked over to this guy and aimed his fist towards his balls and the guy flinched and held his crotch so he was like “men may be stronger but women are tougher” and then he said “so when someone tells you to grow a pair, they mean ovaries”
Virginity only matters if you’re lighting the black flame candle to summon witches.
Actually, When people talk about “blood of a virgin”, what’s actually meant is “virgin blood”, aka blood that’s never before been used in a ritual.
Therefore, virginity doesn’t matter for anything.
*noises of comprehension and frustration that I didn’t make that connection before*
i am the most stressed out laziest person ever i don’t even know how i do it
- parents: ugh newborns are awful i havent slept in weeks and they cost so much
- parents: ugh toddlers are awful everything is broken and i havent slept past 5 in weeks and they cost so much
- parents: ugh children are awful all they do is want want want and never give back and they cost so much
- parents: ugh pre teens are awful for many many reasons
- parents: ugh teenagers are awful theyre lazy slobs who dont do anything and they cost so much
- parents: having kids ruined my body, my house, my bank, and my social life
- kid/teen/young adult/adult: i dont want kids
- parent: wHaaATT YOU DONT WANT KIDS? HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT THEM THEYRE WONDERFUL YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND WHEN YOU GET OLDER